Of all professions, none is more curious than that of the Wall Street analyst who pontificates about Apple.
Much has been written about them. Jokingly, they are compared to weathermen — except weathermen are more often right than Apple analysts are.
While we’re talking about jokes, let’s talk about Gene Munster.
One of the most famous — or, rather, infamous — analysts in Apple circles is Munster with Piper Jaffray. I suppose all of that’s supposed to mean something to someone with their own private jet. Otherwise, Munster’s just someone scans Apple rumor sites and makes financial pronouncements as to what Apple should and shouldn’t do.
However, Apple rarely does anything that seems to make sense to analysts. In Munster’s case, he’s been saying for years that Apple will come out with a TV. Not an Apple TV, because Apple already makes that. No, he means an actual TV, like the ones you see on shelves at a Costco or bolted to a wall at Best Buy, made by Apple.
Never mind the arguments that made sense, like TVs are a low profit margin item. Or that Apple doesn’t have any interest in categories with low profit margins. Or that Apple has a perfectly good solution for most people, the Apple TV.
He’s predicted for years that a TV made by Apple would happen any day now. Logic be damned, it was going to happen and people were going to pay $1,500 for it!
I suppose if you say something long enough, it’ll probably happen. You know, like a broken clock and being right twice a day.
But Gene Munster’s finally given up the dream. He’s resigned to believing, like most people did years ago, that Apple will never get into actually manufacturing a TV. And if it means anything to Apple, Piper Jaffray is “adjusting” their expectations (it doesn’t). Apple will only release an updated Apple TV. Probably with apps. Maybe with cable integration.
At this point I was going to make a joke about Munster being the heir to the munster cheese fortune, because obviously, he isn’t very good at his day job. But keep in mind that that first year analysts make between $65,000 to $85,000 per year, plus bonuses that can hit $48,000. Six figure salaries with high five figure/six figure bonuses aren’t unheard of.
So let me make a very serious proposition, hedge fund managers, investment banks and mutual fund directors: allow me to offer the services of TekSpotting, for the purposes of prognosticating about the goings-on of Apple.
If Gene Munster can pull down that kind of cash for that kind of performance, we’re sure we can do better. We’re more than willing to talk to you, one percenters, about our forecasts regarding everyone’s favorite fruit company.
What are you afraid of? Making money?